Into the wild inspired my life of adventure – but I learned the wrong lessons about freedom

I am waking up early on a large flat rock with a view over a vast wilderness area. There is only forest, stone, and quiet for many miles. I am 44 days into hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. This trail is about 2,650 miles long and goes from the Mexican border to Canada. It crosses deserts, pine forests, deep valleys, rocky mountains, and snowy peaks. Every day, I walk about 20 miles and carry everything I need for the next four months.

When I was 16, I watched the film Into the Wild. It tells the true story of Christopher McCandless, who left his comfortable life to live in the wilderness. I always liked adventure and was excited by the idea of leaving behind what people expected of me and travelling the world in my own way. I started to imagine leaving my home in north London to live in a wild, unknown place like in the movie.

For the next 20 years, this desire took me to many places. I spent time in India, Nepal, and Brazil. Between jobs and studies, when I felt stuck, I would go on an adventure, hoping it would help me understand myself better. These trips changed me, but I was always looking for the next place, the next view, and the next experience. I worried I was missing out on something and that true freedom was still far away.

This feeling changed over time, and I began to see Into the Wild differently. At 16, I admired how Christopher rejected a life that seemed planned for him. But as I grew older, I stopped admiring his decision to leave society. I started to notice the negative effects of his choice. I began to understand the warnings from the older characters in the film: that freedom is not very meaningful if it means hurting the people you leave behind.

Then, one evening in my late 20s, while I was living in Los Angeles, I realised how lonely I felt, even in a city with millions of people. I missed my family and friends. So, I moved back to London and made my home there, taking care of my relationships instead of always looking for the next escape.

This year, when I finally started hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in April, an adventure I had dreamed about for almost 20 years, it was not because I wanted to run away from my life. It was because I wanted to move towards something new: to feel more connected to nature and to trust myself more. Hiking has become a form of walking meditation for me, a way to manage my anxiety when my thoughts become too loud. I often stop to admire the incredible beauty around me: colourful desert flowers, small bluebells, and amazing sunsets.

The most important lesson the trail has taught me is to take life one step at a time. It sounds simple, and people say it often, but it means much more to me now. I feel very thankful – not just for the amazing landscapes, but for being able to experience life each day. There is a sense of peace in not needing to have all the answers, and instead trusting the next step, and then the one after that.

Walking alone on the side of a mountain, I never feel lonely. I have learned that loneliness and being alone are not the same. In fact, I feel comfortable when I am alone, especially knowing I have my home and connections waiting for me. I now realise that the freedom I searched for all those years ago was a freedom of the mind, not just a physical escape. And that, I have discovered, can be found anywhere.